Cancer, Love and Inner Guidance
Columbus, Ohio
May 14th 1993,
The past year had been a struggle, since divorcing my wife of seventeen years, and I found myself living alone, without my family of five children.
My brother came into town to spend the evening to celebrate my forty first birthday with me.
I slept on the floor that evening next to the bed my brother was sleeping on, and as I woke the next morning, I noticed a slight swelling on the right side of my neck. I just thought a lymph node was infected due to the emotional stress and lifestyle that I had been leading since the separation from my family.
By August, I knew that something was wrong because the pea-size spot had grown to the size of a ping-pong ball and now was invading the airway of my throat.
My boss and were at lunch when I experienced a choking episode and he drove me straight to the emergency room. The attending physician quickly looked in my mouth and walked away in silence. When he returned he informed me that he had already scheduled an appointment with a specialist at Ohio State University Hospital.
My mother and step-father accompanied me to my appointment and waited in the same room with me. The Doctor and two other young interns put me in an examining chair and after a quick look, told me they were going to take a biopsy. I went catatonic with fear as they prepared me with an oral numbing agent. I went into an extreme agitation mode as they were holding me down to administer a sedative injection. This is where the nightmare began. I was literally wide awake as two of the young men held me down and the doctor proceeded to cut a chunk of tissue that was already blocking half my throat. I was gurgling and fighting the restraint as my mother was trying to console me from a distance. The procedure ended with the Doctor walking away with the biopsy sample as I was coming in and out of shock, passing in and out of consciousness. Within twenty minutes the team came back into the room and were now standing around me with my parents who had been consoling me. I was still reeling from what seemed to be a physical assault. The diagnosis was definitive; I only heard the words, squamous cell carcinoma, and then the word Cancer. Still in a state of shock from the previous procedure, the older Doctor left the interns to explain the seriousness of my diagnosis and that they had already scheduled an operating room and time for a radical surgery that would save my life. They were going to remove a portion of my tongue and jawbone and graft skin from my buttocks to repair my face. I was horrified to say the least, and in that moment of disbelief, a familiar inner voice came through the panic of my mind, and assured me that I was not going to accept this outcome as it was being presented. Up until this past year, I had taken great care in keeping up a health regimen that included years of study about cultural medicine. I had given up the idea of being a pre-med student years ago.
This life or death scenario seemed surreal, but as I quickly reflected over the past year, I had violated those principles of good health with my constant state of depression and out of character binge drinking. A lifestyle and mindset that my body had not been accustomed to.
We left the hospital hardly saying a word to each other because it was assumed that I would be returning two days later for that surgery.
When my mother found out that I had decided to cancel the surgery, she went crazy with fear, because she had already lost a son, from a car accident that had happened on Valentines Day 1970, my senior year in high school. It was her experience with depression and allopathic modalities including medications that didn’t help give her relief that lead to her accepting a dozen or more electro shock treatments. She was so distraught by my decision that she was threatening to probate me into a forced surgery scenario. All along, this inner guidance that I had relied on since my brothers death was continuing to assure me that I was making the right decision not to have this radical surgery at this time.
When the rest of my relatives heard that I had made up my mind not to go through with the surgery and had turned down this prestigious teaching hospitals protocol to save my life, they reluctantly supported my plan to accept an offer to go to California for an alternative treatment…and I packed and said goodbyes at a farewell party. This is where the story gets even more unworldly…I had been aware of vibrational healing modalities in my studies, but I had never heard the word “Radionics.”
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San Diego, California
September 1993
Once I landed in San Diego, I found myself being driven to a clandestinely hidden location overlooking the ocean. It was a modest home without any graphics announcing the services that would be performed within. The happy face and bright aura of a young man put me at ease as he explained that this vibrational therapy was outlawed in the US many years ago. He explained this therapy treatment still could be legally obtained in Canada and Europe. He went on to say that every healthy tissue in the body had a vibratory signature and when it was unhealthy was detectable as well. He connected me to a device and began turning knobs and dials as if trying to tune into a television set. A few additional clicks of some switches and the young man said this process was complete. The vibrational frequency adjustment would allow my body to become strong enough over time to eventually handle a surgical removal of the tumor.
Columbus, Ohio 1995
Long story short, two years later after returning to Ohio, and with the tumor now the size of a softball: that same inner guidance said it was time to have it removed. This time I went to the hospital where years earlier I had to help make the decision to remove my twelve year old brother from life support.
I walked into the reception area and shared only part of my story, leaving out the alternative therapy scenario. A psychologist talked with me for a few moments and scheduled an immediate meeting with a surgeon. Coincidently, I would be meeting with the son of the Doctor that had delivered my Grandmothers five daughters. One of which was my mother.
The Doctor had already looked at my medical history from two years earlier and was sullen about the choice I had made. Sternly he said to me, “Jack, you’ve waited too long and you are probably inoperable.” In that moment I wasn’t sure what he meant, but it sounded like a death sentence. Then reluctantly he stated, “Lets schedule an MRI and see what’s going on with your tumor.”
I waited anxiously for the Dr. to return to my hospital room. He walked in with a mystified look on his face and a slight smile.
"Jack, it looks like your tumor is encapsulated and I am going to operate on you. I have already scheduled the surgery for tomorrow."
I was suspended in time with relief and then a wave of fear…I had never had surgery let alone this major surgery to save my life. The inner voice again comforted me and I rested on and off through the night.
With the support of my parents and step-parents at my side I was ready to face the “what ifs” to come. When the team of Doctors and Nurses came to take me into the operating room… I wanted to savor the moment. Since my brothers death and parents divorce, there hadn’t been this kind of family gathering. This wasn’t exactly the greatest theme for a reunion. I said my good byes for a few more minutes and then called them back to say I was ready.
Four hours later:
I was regaining consciousness, I was encouraged to get out of bed by the nurses. Looking in the mirror, I couldn’t recognize the once symmetric face and fainted. As I was assisted back to bed, the surgeon walked into my room. I heard his words clearly. “The surgery was a success and you are going to be fine.”
As I recovered at my mother’s home, I tried to absorb the permanent changes to my body asymmetry as the result of my radical neck vivisection. They had removed all the muscle and lymph from the right side of my neck leaving me grotesquely dis-figured from my minds eye. But the alternative of being inoperable was language of the past.
Now, I faced another choice, and I believe I made this one out of fear. You see I hadn’t had any pain for the past two years, and now the pain was beyond anything I could have imagined. My arm laid at my side from the nerve damage and I was afraid of moving my neck to look from side to side. On top of that I was so weak I didn’t even entertain getting out of bed. Yet my mind was constantly thinking about the fact that I had to face radiation treatments in two weeks. I didn’t want to tell anyone that only I knew that I had decided to not go through with anymore treatments.
At the time I thought I was listening to my inner guidance. Looking back, I was just afraid of any more pain.
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Kalamazoo, Michigan 1994
To digress a bit,
May to April the previous year, I had moved from Ohio to Michigan after a phone call from my brother who had moved there to help start a new racing fuel company. It became nationally recognized as Torco Racing Fuels. The success of my marketing and trade name negotiation from a national oil company had landed me the title of Vice President of Marketing and my brother was now the President of this fast growing corporation. Additionally, two of my children from Ohio now lived with me. The only thing missing in my minds eye was a love life.
Not that I wasn’t looking.
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Michigan 1996
Yet,another preoccupation was beginning to bother me, even though I was ignoring it as we were celebrating success and the New Year…1996.
How could I keep ignoring that something was growing in my throat again. Slowly I became despondent and even though I was confident and thankful for the years of Inner Guidance and the many visits to worlds of Divine Love, I was now thinking that I was ready to leave my two sons in the care of my brother and move on into the next life.
As I was keeping my condition secret at work from my brother, I began having these dreams with a very beautiful young woman who loved me in my dreams. I would tell my brother details of these nightly experiences and we would both laugh together, lightening up the day a little. Then in the middle of that month, I was sitting in a local dance club doing my usual sad sack routine of watching everyone dancing and having fun when I looked over and recognized the “stranger” dancing by herself. I had been there a number of times before, and I knew all the familiar faces as it was a small town, but, she had never been there before. I was lifted out of my funk by that Inner Voice to react…she was the one from my dreams. I asked her to slow dance and we were a perfect fit, she must have thought so too, because she came and asked me to dance the next time.
We danced a few more times and she said she had to go…I followed her out to her car but the night ended without her phone number.
The next Monday morning I told my brother that I met that woman in my dreams and also revealed that the tumor had started growing again in my throat. The room was silent and my brother and I cried together.
The following weekend I went back to the club hoping I would see her. She was there and we again danced. As I held her I asked her if we could go somewhere else more quiet to talk. We agreed on an informal karaoke date the following week and then a 50’s sock hop and we knew it was love.
Now I had the ultimate conflict, I knew I wanted to live more than anything for this love, but if I told her my condition, would she freak out? Oh yea…the part so far that I have left out. Denise was a nurse and I was still afraid to share my secret.
It was Valentines Day. The day that always has been a paradox for me because the day of love was always overshadowed by the anniversary of my brother’s car accident. Today was even further complicated emotionally. I not only wanted to give her a valentine gift but I also needed to tell her about the re-growth of a tumor in my throat.
I decided to call my grandmother because at the time my mom and I were estranged over the episode of traumatizing her over the choice to avoid conventional medical treatment and leaving the state to avoid radiation. As I relayed the story to my grandmother about meeting Denise and whether now was the time to reveal my health condition, my grandmother just said “tell her she will understand.” Long story shorter…Denise thought it was no big deal and said she would take me to the hospital where she worked, and then on to an Oncologist where I went through five of the seven weeks of treatment, never to return for even a checkup.
That was now nearly twenty years ago…
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Sarasota, Florida 2014
That’s my story…but a prologue is necessary to finish the reason for this out pouring.
I have still had to live with daily chronic pain from my neck surgery…and after the first year of pharmaceutical painkillers, I chose to live with it instead of being an addict. My day starts with a small burning spot in my back that grows larger as the day goes by and by early evening the neck cramping down shortening my day and limiting my life’s joy’s.
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Before moving to Florida I asked my Inner Guidance to find a solution to my chronic pain and the daily limitations.
I remember how many times I have said you better watch what you ask for…You just might find it…or it may find you.
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Epilogue: All of this life history for me finally has a wonderful “Now” to share.
In the past week I was asked to volunteer at a booth during the Sarasota Ecofest. The fellow that I was working with mentioned his wife was an Oriental MD and had an amazing all natural Transdermal Patch for pain relief. He applied the Powerstrip to the area on my back damaged from the Cancer surgery. Within an hour my pain was gone and the relief made me forget about the usual end of day agony of back burning and neck spasms that I had been living with for almost 20 years. I couldn’t believe it!!!
The next morning I was still relaxed and free of the chronic pain.
After three days of applying the Power Strip I went to the Oriental MD’s office and shared my relief and found others with the same amazing results.
I put one on my mother who has chronic pain from fused vertebrae and two hip replacements and my step-father, who has chronic neck pain. Both went without pain medications all day. I also applied one to my mother-n-law’s hand that was swollen and painful from a recent surgery. To her amazement she slept through the night for the first times in months.
It is my joy and wish that Everyone of my friends and acquaintances…who experience chronic pain watch these two videos. If you want to try one of the PowerStrips, I can loan you one and send it to you through the mail and when you order yours you can pay me back the same way.
Your life will change like mine has and you will want to book a flight or drive to Sarasota to be at a Saturday March 1st presentation with Ron Williams President and CEO of the company. He is providing a Global opportunity Networking Event that shows this product can be shipped via mail anywhere in the world.
Watch these two videos and prepare yourself…for the lifetime change you’ve been looking for…just like me.
My website: http://jackhemsworth.fgxpress.com
Thank You for reading my story.
